Leaving The Past Behind Or Taking It With?
by TheUsedChick9
Summary: Takes place after episode Lose this Skin. Jude is sick of everything. She's sick of Tommy, her dad, and even the relationship forming between Kat and Jamie. But what happens if she just gives up. Gives up on her dream, love, and family altogether?
1. Fed Up

**Title: Am I Leaving The Past Behind…Or Taking It With Me?**

**Summary: Takes place after episode "Lose this Skin." Jude is sick of everything. She's sick of Tommy, her dad, and even the relationship forming between Kat and Jamie. But what happens if she just gives up. Gives up on her dream, love, and family altogether? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or any of the characters.**

**A/N: Jude never went on tour or anything. But she did finish her album. And it was a hit. Too bad she wasn't around to see it. This chapter doesn't have much dialog in it, it pretty much is an explanation to where the story is, enjoy! **

"Tommy, I'm sick of it! I hate it that I always have to hide how I feel. With everything! Have a good life with Sadie, but when she doesn't fill that hole in your heart that you have for me, don't even think of coming crying to me. If you're done with me, and done being my producer, then fine! I don't need you. Go to hell!"

And with that Jude stomped past Tommy, who stood there silent after another argument as to whether he would be there to produce her next album or not, and walked out of G Major, not knowing it would be the last time she would see that building for a while. She walked home, only to find an empty house. That was really common lately since Sadie was almost _always _with Tommy and her mom had started dating some one. It was always empty and alone.

"Of course there's no one home, what was I thinking. I thought I had a family." she said to herself walking into the dark house and taking off her jacket and hanging it up.

Jamie was never around anymore. And when Jude _did _see him, he was in the hallways at school, hanging all over Kat. He decided to give up on his little crush on Jude and stay with the person who was always there for him, not just every other day. Which Jude couldn't blame him; she had been a really crappy friend. She just couldn't get over Tommy. And it killed her everyday.

She went to make herself a sandwich in the kitchen when she stumbled across a letter on the counter addressed to Sadie from Tommy. She couldn't help but open it. It read…

_Dear Sadie,_

_I know things haven't been the greatest lately, but I promise, they will get better. Just remember, I'm here for you, always. I am really excited about our trip to Europe. I am so glad you invited me. I really need to get out, I need time to, think about things. And I need to get away from some things. Well, I will talk to you later. And I am looking forward so seeing you tonight. Until then…_

_Love,_

_Tommy_

"Oh, well isn't that just fantastic. He means he needs to get away from _me. _That bastard. Well, if he wants to get away from me, then I will get away too. Screw him, wait, that will be Sadie's job." she scoffed and ran upstairs to gather her things.

She hadn't exactly been the number one fan of the Tommy/Sadie relationship. Who was? Her mom and dad didn't really care for it, but they didn't exactly want Jude to date him either. They thought it would just complicate things. Well things were just about to get a little more complicated.

There was never a time in her life that Jude had ever felt as abandoned, as she did right now. Her best friends weren't talking to her. Her dad had pretty much abandoned his whole entire family. And the one guy she thought she could trust the most, Tommy, was now dating her sister. It wasn't only Tommy who had to get out. Jude was really to leave, also.

She had packed her most treasured possessions, her pictures, guitar, and her notebook, and took off without ever looking back.

Sometimes you need to get a new perspective on life to really realize what you have. That was what Jude had set out to do.

**Well there's the first chapter. Please read and review. There will be more to come….**


	2. The Past Is Back

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or any of the characters.**

**A/N: This is now set 4 years from then. Jude took a train to New York. She figured no one would find her there. She finished highschool and graduated. But no one was there to see it. She is now 20 and works as a full time waitress/manager at a little coffee shop around the corner from her small, but livable apartment. She also sings part-time there at night. She's happy with her life so far, but what happens when her past is back to haunt her? Keep reading…**

"Uh, Miss, can I get another cappuccino?" a man who was sitting at a table asked her politely.

"Oh, sure. That will be just one minute." she smiled at him and then went back behind the counter. A few minutes later she brought the man his coffee and noticed it was time for her break. She sat down at a table in the back and pulled out her notebook and started to write some lyrics. She then notices the clock and puts her apron back on and goes back to stand behind the counter. She noticed someone walk up to the counter and still had her head down.

"Can I help you?" she said, with her head still buried in the daily totals.

"Well, if it isn't Jude Harrison, punk rock princess, and Instant Star winner." a familiar voice stated.

"Jamie? What are you doing here?" she said as her eyes lit up and she walked around the counter to give him a big hug.

"Oh, I was in town, you know, for business. I thought I would stop and get a quick pick-me-up before I headed to work. What are you doing here?" he said as he looked down at her. He had changed a little. He must've gotten contacts. Those dorky glasses were no where to be found. He stood there, in a suit, no less. Jude found him a little attractive.

"Well, I live just around the corner from here. And I work as a waitress here, full time. And I sing here on Wednesday nights. So, what do you do?" she said, going back behind the counter as he stood on the other side.

"Oh, I'm in advertising. Kind of boring, but it pays the bills. Gotta support the family, you know?" as he said this Jude's eyes got curious.

"Are you and Kat…still together?" she said smiling.

"Yeah, and we have a daughter, Samantha, she is almost a year now. We live in the suburbs of good ol' New York. We're really happy. Kat is a fashion designer, surprise, surprise. So how have things been with you? You know, since you left?" he said as he sat at a stool at the bar.

"Oh, well they are okay, I guess. I'm getting by. Slowly but surely. So how are my parents? Are they okay? How is Sadie… and…" she trailed off thinking about her last conversation she had with Tommy.

"Tommy?" Jamie said finishing her sentence.

"Well your folks are good. They took it pretty hard when you left. They really didn't know what to do. But they are okay now. I go home to see mine every now and then. And I usually stop by there. Sadie is still living with your mom. She is modeling and doing commercials and all that. And Tommy…well Tommy is still working at G Major. I think he took it the absolute hardest when you left. He even left for a few months to try and find you. He thought it was his fault. Why did you leave, Jude?" he said with sadness in his eyes.

"I don't know. I was kinda…sick of it all. I had to get out of there. It was suffocating me. I really didn't mean to worry anyone. I came here. Finished highschool, and have had this job ever since. I'm part manager/ part waitress. I get paid pretty well, I guess. I just wish I could have pursued singing." she said a slight frown forming on her face.

"You still can, you know? Your record was a big hit, you can do it again." he said lifting up her chin. She smiled at him and then looked away again.

"I don't know Jamie; I haven't been back there…since my last fight with Tommy. I don't know if I could go back there again." she looked at him with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jude, everything will be okay, you need to go see your parents and Sadie. She misses you more than you know kiddo." he said as he placed a hand on the red head's shoulder.

"Oh, well it would be good to see them all, I don't know, Jamie, I'm…scared." she said as she dried her tears.

"Jude Harrison, scared? Man, you _have _changed. I never even heard that word come out of your mouth. What's up?" he said looking at her with concerned eyes.

"I…just…haven't been home in four years. I'm not sure if I could go back…" she said fiddling with some cups on the counter.

"Jude, tell you what, Kat and I are due for a little vacation, besides I want to spend some time with my daughter, so if we go and stay at my parents' house, would you want to come with us?" he said with a smile on his face.

Jude couldn't admit to Jamie that the reason she was scared to go back wasn't because of Sadie and her parents. It was because of Tommy. However, they could be totally different people now. Jude had changed. So maybe he did too. After all, they couldn't have the same feelings for each other as they did then, could they?

"You know what, give me a couple of days, and I will take you up on that. Just give me until Friday and I'll be good to go." she was really kind of excited to go back, she missed her parents, and Sadie. But she was still scared as hell.

"Okay, give me your number and we will come pick you up, I gotta get to work, boss is kind of a prick." Jamie said as he made a face.

Jude gave Jamie her number and he left. She finished her shift and then went home to get ready and pack. She was actually going to go back to the one place she feared the most.

_**To withdraw is not to run away, and to stay is no wise action, when there's more reason to fear than to hope. - **Miguel De Cervantes_

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**Thanks you guys for all your reviews already. Wow. you all are truly awesome. Thank you! I love ya. Well there was the second chapter but keep reading there will be more to come... :)**


	3. Welcome Back

**A/N: I'm so glad you guys like it. I hope you keep reading. It gives me more motivation, so keep reviewing and telling me what you think. Read on…**

_What if I get there and my parents are furious with me? God, I am so scared. What am I gonna do?_

All these thoughts went through Jude's head on the car ride to her house. She wanted more than anything to see her family, but a part of her still wanted to be in the coffee shop in New York. It's not like she wasn't happy to go and see her parents, she just didn't want all the confrontation to why she just up and left 4 years ago.

And the next thing she knew Jamie was pulling the car up to Jude's house. It still looked the same as it did when she left. This was when her heart really started to beat. Jamie had suggested to wait until they knew for sure Jude's mom was home to grab her suitcase, but Jude knew the reason he said that. _He _wasn't even sure they would let her in.

As Jude walked up to the door, she thought it was only right that she would knock and not go right in, after all, she hadn't lived there for 4 years. Her hands shook as she went to knock. And as soon as she did the only thing she wanted to do was hide. It took a while for someone to answer. She turned towards Kat and Jamie, who were sitting in the car with the baby.

"Maybe no ones home…" she said hoping no one was so that she didn't have to see anybody and she could just leave.

And the next thing she knew the door opened and there stood a blonde girl who stood just a little bit taller then her, with Jade green eyes and a big smile. This smile was not on Sadie's face however.

"Uh, hey, Sadie…" Jude trailed off noticing the pain in her sister's eyes.

"Jude…." she stood there speechless.

"Uh, I knew I shouldn't have come I'll ju-" she was interrupted by a sudden unexpected embrace from her sister. Jude hugged her back. She had to admit, she did miss her sister a little.

"Oh my god, I have missed you! Where did you go? Why did you leave? Do you want to come in? Come in, Come in!" her sister said as she pulled Jude into the house. That's when Jamie and Kat got out of the car and walked up to the door with Samantha in Kat's arms.

"Mom, look who's here." Sadie said as she took Jude by the shoulders into the kitchen.

"Jude! Oh my god. You're back. Where have you been?" her mother said, now with tears streaming down her face. She ran to embrace her daughter with probably the biggest hug of all time.

"There will be plenty of time for that later, mom. Where's dad?" she questioned still hugging her mother. She missed her probably more than anything.

"He's at his house I would think. We should go over and see him and you can tell us together about where you have been. Do you have a place to stay? You can stay here!" her mother said over excited that her second born child was now home.

"Okay, how about I go get my suitcase and then we can go." she said as she went out to Jamie's car and got her bag and her guitar case. It was like her bible, she never went anywhere without it.

Jamie came out of the house to help Jude with her bags. He had a smile on his face that Jude hadn't seen for 4 years.

"Now aren't you glad you came?" he said helping Jude with her bags into the house and up to her old room, which was exactly the way it had been four years ago, a little bit cleaner though.

"Yeah, you know I really am. I needed to do this; I couldn't put my family through this anymore. It was time to come back home, for a little while at least." she said putting her bag on her bed and sitting down looking up at Jamie. He had a worried look on his face now.

"Okay….now what's wrong with you?" she said smiling at him a little.

"Jude, you know the only reason you came back wasn't all to see your family. It may have been the most part, but that wasn't why you were so nervous. I think you should go see Tommy, Jude." he said as her face turned from a smile to a slight frown. She knew he was right.

"Is this Jamie I'm talking to? The guy that hated Tommy the last time I checked? What's up?" she looked with a blend of curiosity and fear hanging in her eyes.

"Look, I know that Tommy and I have not been each others best friends. And I know that I hated that guy for quite a long time, but Jude, he really was _heartbroken _when you left. You _have _to go see him. He needs to know you're okay."

She knew he was right, again. She was just so afraid of what Tommy would say to her that she didn't even want to see him while she was here. But then again a part of her couldn't wait to see if he had changed at all.

"Yeah, well let's just take it one day at a time." she said walking out of her room and down to meet her mom and Sadie, who were talking to Kat about Samantha.

"Yeah she just started to crawl not too long ago, and Jamie is so happy, she is almost saying Daddy." Kat said proudly then looking up to see Jamie and Jude enter the kitchen again.

"So, are you guys ready to go?" her mother said getting her jacket.

"You know, this is a family thing, you guys need to be together right now, and besides Samantha is about ready for a nap." Jamie said holding Samantha in his arms with her head lying on his shoulder. She was half asleep.

"Okay, well I will give you a call later, maybe we can have dinner, you know, catch up?" Jude said smiling at the happy couple. She envied them. They already had their lives all set up for them.

"Sure, we're gonna take off, bye you guys."

Kat and Jamie left to go to Jamie's parents' house while Jude, Sadie, and her mom drove over to her dad's apartment. Jude wasn't as nervous now as she was before.

They went and knocked on the door. And heard someone yell 'Just a minute' and then come to the door.

Her dad opened the door with such a shocked look on his face and then did the same as Jude's mom did, embrace her so hard it almost cut off her air supply.

"Honey, you're back, come in, where did you go?" her dad said sitting on the couch next to Jude and putting his arm around her.

"Well, I left. It was suffocating me to be here. It wasn't you guys. It was this town in general. And I went to New York, graduated high school, and now I am part waitress/ part manager of a little coffee shop around the corner from my apartment. I missed you guys so much and I meant to come back so many times I just…" she trailed off with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Honey, there is no need to explain, we were just worried is all. You just up and left and none of us knew why. We just didn't expect it, was all." he said as he hugged her again.

"I'm so glad I came back. I really missed you all. I needed a break from the 'real world'. I also need time to relax." she said as she smiled for the first time in a while.

"Well you feel free to stay as long as you like. We are so glad you came back, Jude."

**Jude knew for the first time in her life that things would actually be okay. The hardest part seemed like it was over. What she didn't know was the hardest part hadn't even begun. She still had to go to G Major and face Tommy. Would it work out as she thought? Or will it turn out that not all her welcomes be so warm…keep reading…**


	4. Facing The Music

**A/N: As I said about a million times, thank you guys SO MUCH for all your reviews, and hell, I will say it a million times more, THANK YOU….**

As they arrived back to Jude's mom's house, she was so tired that she was ready to go to bed. So she said goodnight to her mom and Sadie as she went upstairs to go to sleep.

She didn't go to sleep right away, though. It seemed after she left home, all of the songs that were in her head started pouring out, and she had kept this routine of writing down at least a few lines of lyrics before bed, or singing one of her own. Just so she didn't lose that special gift no one could take away from her. And she did this every night for the past 4 years.

She took a deep breath as she strummed her guitar strings.

_You said you didn't need me (but you did)_

_You said you didn't want me (but you do)_

_It's kinda like a comedy_

_Well, first you kiss me_

_and then you say we're through_

_I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that lie you can trust  
I'm the chord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shutup  
I'm the blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me _

She stopped playing her guitar. It seemed like every night for the past four years she did the same routine of playing her music and making sure she still had it. And every night she would realize she had all but one thing…Tommy. Her songs, lyrics, and thoughts were all about him.

Even the girls at the coffee shop would say so when she sang there on Wednesday nights. They would say things like 'you gotta get him back' and 'he doesn't know what he's missing.' The problem was she knew he didn't care. He didn't care or else he wouldn't have let her leave so hurt that night. He wouldn't have kissed her and then pretended like it never happened. He would have never been off to Europe with her sister. He knew **exactly **what he was 'missing'.

_So why didn't he choose me? _she thought with tears welling up in her eyes. She decided to give the singing a rest for tonight. She laid her head back on her pillow and fell asleep. She didn't know that over at Tommy's apartment he was as big of a wreck as she was…

Tommy sat down on his couch running his hands through his hair. He had been so depressed since Jude left 4 years ago, but it had gotten better. He didn't feel so much like it was his fault. But still, he did think of her from time to time. Like everytime he listened to her CD, which he did go out and buy, by the way. And everytime he heard someone laugh like she did, or everytime he saw Sadie he thought of her sister. He felt bad for Jude's leaving, so they broke up about a month after. He just couldn't handle that he might have been the problem she was out there all by herself.

He sighed and flipped through the channels on the T.V. He couldn't concentrate. It was one of those nights where he had to go and drink his pain away. But he decided not to take that invitation by his friends and Kwest to go and party. He didn't feel up to it.

_What if she never comes back? What if, I never see her again? I couldn't handle that. She'll come back, she just needs, time. She wouldn't give up on her family, would she? After all she hasn't been back in 4 years. She might be gone for good. _

The thought of never seeing that red head's face again, killed Tommy everytime he thought about it. He decided he was just going to go to sleep so that he didn't have to think about it anymore.

He turned off the T.V., went into his bedroom, took off his shirt, and laid on his bed. He was just about to fall asleep when the phone rang…

It was a private call. He picked it up anyways…

"Hello?" he said tiredly.

There was no voice on the other side.

"Hello? Is there anyone there? Hello?" he said as he hung up.

Jude couldn't speak. Just hearing the sound of his voice made her feel sad. She could tell he had unhappiness in his voice. She didn't want to tell him she was back over the phone. No, she had to do it in person. And that was what she would do first thing, was to go to G Major and tell everyone she was back, for a while at least.

The next day, Jude got up especially early so that she could go to G Major alone. She knew she had to do it all alone, because if she took anyone with her and they mentioned it too much, she wouldn't be able to do it. So she got up and took a shower, put on a plain pair of jeans, and her black Ramones t-shirt. She figured there was really no reason to dress nice, it was just G Major. She left her mom and Sadie a note and grabbed her jacket and left.

She went to get a cup of coffee before she braved her trip to G Major. So she stopped by a little café right across the street from the building. That way she could just go and wouldn't have to think about it too much. But, she had already been thinking about it all night.

She sipped her coffee slowly as she thought it would by her time. Just then she saw a familiar blue viper pull up to the building. _I can't believe he still has that car, after all this time. _she thought to herself smiling remembering the time he let her drive it around on her 16 birthday. _Okay, so maybe all memories of that day aren't so bad. _she thought again.

It was time. Her coffee had finally gotten cold, giving the sign that she had been there a while. She wasn't really looking forward to going back to the record label she had abandoned. Btu she knew what she had to do.

She got up, paid the bill, and walked out. She was shaky the whole way over there. _What am I going to say, 'Oh, hi guys, I know I abandoned you about four years ago, but what's up?' _she thought shaking her head. _Come on Jude get ahold of yourself. That was 4 years ago, they couldn't still be mad, could they? _

The next thing she knew she was at the front doors of the G Major Studios. Inside it looked like it usually did, chaotic. She could still see EJ running around like a mad woman on her cell phone, and Georgia was standing at the front desk, looking at some papers. Then Jude noticed she wasn't looking at the papers in front of her anymore. She was looking right at Jude. That was her cue to enter.

"Uh, hey, Georgia." Jude said weakly.

Georgia just stood there with her mouth open in shock. She had also been very confused and disappointed to why Jude left. She stood there a few minutes longer staring at the girl, no young woman standing before her. She was no longer the 16-year-old girl that would sit on the stairs and play her guitar, not caring what anyone thought. She was standing there, now almost as tall as her, with the same fiery red hair and traffic stopping beauty but something was, different. She was…a woman.

"Jude, you're back?" she said smiling and giving her a hug. "I can't believe you're here. Where have you been?" she said stepping back, now with everyone looking at Jude and it made her a little uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah about that, I, uh, went to New York, I was, uh, kinda sick of it here. Oh don't get me wrong all of you were great, but it was, something I had to do for myself. You know; kind of a journey to find myself or something like that." she smiled.

"Oh, I get it now, how did your parents take it?" she said wincing.

"They were surprisingly okay with it. They were just a little worried. But its all okay now." she laughed and looked around at all the people still staring at her.

"Yeah I bet. It went down pretty bad here. We were also really worried about you, Jude. Especially Tommy. He left town to go and find you."

"Yeah, Jamie told me. I can't believe he did that."

"Well, I can. Jude, he really cares about you. More than you think. He was such a wreck for 3 years. He could hardly work. He slowly but surely got over it though. He's here today, you know?" Georgia looked at her smiling.

Jude got a smirk on her face. "Yeah, I saw his viper out there. I wasn't looking forward to hearing the yelling." she looked away and looked at the ground.

"Well, I still think you need to see him. And Kwest! They both missed ya kiddo." Georgia said pulling Jude to the back studio where she always remembered recording all of her songs with Tommy.

"Georgia! I don't-" the next thing she knew she was pulled into the room and there sat Tommy and Kwest, not facing her, looking at the mixing board.

"Hey, guys look who's back!" Georgia said excitedly. Just then Tommy and Kwest both turned around at the same time to see the red head standing there. Tommy couldn't believe who he saw. There she was, 4 years later. She still looked as beautiful as she always did to him, but something was different. This kid, wasn't a kid anymore.

"Uh, hey…guys." Jude said smiling and laughing nervously.

"Jude? You're back? Where have you been?" Kwest said embracing her. He then stepped away to reveal a still open mouthed Tommy.

"Uh, hi Tommy, how are you?"

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****Well sorry about the cliff hanger, but its part of the suspense…lol. I promise I will update ASAP-------- LOVE YA!**


	5. Regrets?

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Thanks you guys for being so patient. Y'all are the best.**

Jude was still standing there looking at Tommy, who oddly still had the look of shock on his face. He had changed a little, but she still had that deep attraction towards him, like a magnet. He still had those icy blue eyes and that jet black hair that she had always imagined playing with. She then shook out of her day dream. He had finally decided to speak.

"Jude, uh, you're here?" he said standing up and keeping a good distance from her, as if she was a hallucination.

"Yeah, I'm back, at least for a little while." she said smiling at him.

"Oh, uh, well…um…" he was still speechless even though he had decided to speak.

"What?" she said looking at him curiously.

"Uh, welcome back." he said walking out of the room. He didn't say all that he wanted to tell her. He wanted to grab her, hug her, and kiss her and tell her that he was worried about her for the last 1,460 days. He wanted to tell her so much more, but he couldn't.

"Oh, well, that was nice." she said confused as she turned to face Georgia, which all she gave was a shoulder shrug.

"Maybe, he isn't used to having you back yet, that's all. Like I said before, he was really hurt when you left." Georgia said with a slight frown on her face.

"Yeah, maybe…" Jude said looking out the door and seeing Tommy sitting on the couch out in the lobby.

"So, where have you been? Tell us all the details, kid. And don't leave anything out." Kwest said smiling and patting the chair next to him motioning for her to sit down.

"Well, it's kind of a long story…" she said trailing off.

"Girl, we've got time." he said again as she sat down and told everyone the same thing she had been saying for the last few days.

Later on she went out into the lobby and let Kwest and Georgia get back to work. Tommy was still sitting in his same position, slumping on the couch with a confused look on his face.

"What's wrong with you?" Jude said sitting down next to him, but not too close.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just thinking." he said looking at her and scooting into an upright position.

"Sure, uh huh, and you just have that look on your face for what reason?" she said smiling at him again.

"No, it's not that. It's just…" he trailed off.

"What?"

"It's just, for four years, I have waited to see you walk back through the door, and I left, I went and I looked for you, I don't know why, if you don't want to be found, you wont. And now that you're here, I don't know…" he said looking at her with pain in his eyes.

"What don't you know?"

"I'm glad you're okay, Jude. Everyone was really worried about you." he said as he put his hand on hers as she looked down at it and then he moved it again.

"Well, I just, had to get out of here, you know? It wasn't working out for me." she said smiling, but with a hint of sadness in her face.

"You mean 'We' weren't working out for you." he said looking at her and then looking down at the ground.

"Tommy, it was-"

"No, Jude. I get it okay? I told you I didn't want to work with you anymore and that's what made you leave. I wouldn't blame you. I hurt you so bad Jude." he said not giving her eye contact.

"Tommy, it wasn't just you. My mom and dad weren't speaking to each other, Jamie and Kat weren't talking to me. And then you, well you were just the icing on the cake. So, I went back to my empty house and…." she trailed off remembering what really made her leave.

_She went to make herself a sandwich in the kitchen when she stumbled across a letter on the counter addressed to Sadie from Tommy. She couldn't help but open it._

"Jude, what's wrong?" Tommy's voice broke the thought. Now she remembered why she left. It _was _because of him. She didn't want to tell him that though. She wasn't angry with him anymore, was she?

"Huh, oh nothing. So…how are you and Sadie?" she said sarcasm suddenly drenching her voice.

"Jude, we broke up four years ago, we haven't said 6 words to each other since. Why?" he said looking into her eyes trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"Oh, well before I left, I read your letter you gave her. And I remember that was what set me off to leave. I realized the one person, that I wanted most to care about me, cared about my sister instead." she said suddenly breaking the gaze and looking at her feet.

"Jude tha-" she put her hand up to interrupt him.

"You know what, save it, Quincy. I don't even want to hear your sorry excuses anymore. It- it was a big mistake that I came. I'm sorry. But now you don't have to worry. I'm okay. You can sleep at night. You don't have to worry about causing heartbreak to a sixteen-year-old girl. Well, newsflash, you did. But I'm going to survive. I have a life somewhere else now. I don't even know why I came, goodbye."

And with that she got up and went to say goodbye to Georgia, E.J., and Kwest, and told them she would be in touch and stole one more look at Tommy, who was sitting on the couch staring back at her. Then, she left. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She got in her car and that's when the tears came. She couldn't help but cry. He broke her heart. And she didn't know if she would be able to be friends with him again.

Just then there was a knock on her window. There stood Tommy with his pleading blue eyes. He mouthed the words 'Are you okay?' and then walked around to get in the passengers side. Jude unlocked the door so that he could get in. He got in and looked at her and then went to wipe her tears away with his hand. She let him, she had missed his touch.

"Jude, that letter- that letter was because Sadie had told me she was heartbroken because of what was going on with your parents. I was writing her telling her it was okay. The reason-"

"Tommy, you don't have to explain yourself to me okay? We both know that what happened between us didn't mean anything, right?"

He looked away when she said this, the truth was, it meant something to him. He had missed her the entire time she was gone. There was no one else for him. It was only her.

"Jude, do you want to go out to lunch maybe. I know you're probably starving. We can talk." he said smiling and wiping away the last of her tears on her face as she smiled.

"Yeah, I guess that would be okay." and with that her and Tommy were off. She didn't know what was going to happen but what she did know was that she missed hanging out with him.

**

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Sorry I didn't get a chance to update yesterday, there was a huge snow storm and I didn't have time to get on the internet. But here's that chapter. Hope you liked it. R&R**


	6. Realizations

**Hey Guys, sorry about not updating as frequently but I had a really big paper due, and I had to finish it. Here's the next chapter, it's mostly dialog but it's very much needed. Hope ya like it. **

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Jude and Tommy had spent the entire day together. it was now 8 o'clock and she was taking Tommy back to his car.

"So, I'll see you later then?" she said as she pulled over by the blue viper.

"Uh, yeah. You should stop by G Major tomorrow. Maybe we can get you back in the studio." he said smiling at her.

"Oh, I don't know Tommy. It's been a while since I've been back in there. I don't think that I'm even any good anymore." she said looking the steering wheel.

"Oh, come on, Jude. Tell you what. Go home tonight. Try and write a song. And if it comes, then I will see you at the studio at nine o'clock, okay?" he said looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Hmmmmm okay. I will try. But I'm not making any promises." she smirked at him when she saw his eyes light up.

"Okay, see you then. Bye." and with that he got into his car and she drove off.

There was a smile on her face the rest of the day. She was finally on good terms with Tommy and that felt better than anything in the world. She was finally happy.

Tommy pulled up to his apartment building and saw a familiar car parked out front. He walked into his apartment and saw someone sitting on his couch.

"Have a good day?"

"Yeah, I actually did." he said with a proud smile on his face, walking over to take his coat off and place his keys on the counter.

"Oh, well that's good. What did you guys do? You were gone all day. I missed you."

"What are you doing here, Sadie?" Tommy said with anger present in his voice.

"What? I can't come and talk to my boyfriend? That's cold, Tommy." she said pouting her lips.

"_Ex-_ boyfriend Sadie, you left out the part where I'm your ex-boyfriend. We haven't been together since…" he trailed off thinking of his and Jude's last argument.

"That's right. We haven't been together since Jude left. And whose fault was that, Tommy? It sure as hell wasn't me who said we should be together. **I**loved you, Tommy."

"Look, I know where this is going and I'm sorry, Sadie. I messed up. Okay? I just don't re-" he was interrupted by her standing up, walking to him, and placing her hand up in front of his mouth.

"No, that's where **you **are wrong. You see, I didn't come over today to try and get you back, if that's where you think this is going." she said, mocking what he had said.

"Well, then what are you doing here?" he said crossing his arms.

"I came here to tell you, that you can't play both sides." she said putting her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?" he said confused.

"I **mean **you can't get all happy that Jude is back and try and be with her. She **has **a life, Tommy. And she's probably over you by now."

"And what makes you think I'm going to try and get her back?"

"Because, Quincy. I can see it in your eyes. You want her. You always have." she said with a smirk on her face.

"That's ridiculous. You're not making any sense, Sadie." he said laughing slightly.

"Oh, really?" and with that she wrapped her arms around Tommy's neck and kissed him. He pushed her away and wiped his mouth.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sadie!" he stood there angrily, still wiping his mouth.

"It makes **perfect **sense. If you didn't want her, you wouldn't have been so offended when I kissed you." and with that she grabbed her jacket, tossed her spare key to his apartment on the couch, and walked out, leaving him standing there, speechless.

Everything Sadie was saying was right. He realized that now. He **did** want Jude back. That's why he broke it off with Sadie. He promised himself that if Jude ever came back, he would tell her how much he cared about her. But could she have moved on? _She couldn't have. She loved me. She still loves me, doesn't she? _

**

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Well I hope you guys liked the chapter. I will try and UD as soon as I can. Thanks for all your reviews.**


	7. Closure

Jude walked into her dark house not surprised that no one was there. It was the same as four years ago. She went back outside and sat on the porch and remembered when Tommy had pulled up to her house that night four years ago…

_Jude sat on her porch as she noticed the Blue Viper pull up to the driveway. Tommy looked at her as he tilted his head, looking at her with compassion in his eyes. _

_"Jude, if I led you on…" _

_"Let's just skip this." he looked away._

_"Cool."_

_"Cool." _

_"Look, working on a song, it's like falling in love. At first it's a rush, and then it gets painful. And sometimes you gotta walk away. But sometimes you come out of it with something beautiful. Like **that song. **I mean change **can **be good, Jude. You want proof, just listen (he hands her the cd).Don't quit, because you're it, girl. You're the **real thing.** You're even better." he said as he looked at her and smiled. He turns to walk away, but then turns back. _

_"Nine o'clock, Monday, be at the studio." _

She smiled remembering how strongly she felt about him. And how strongly she still does. But she couldn't up and leave New York and move back here to be with him, could she? She wanted that more than anything but she couldn't fold. She knew that if she came back, to be with him, they would eventually end up parting ways, again. She couldn't do that to him, and herself.

Just then she heard a car coming down the street. She was expecting that familiar blue viper to pull up, but instead it was her sister.

"Oh, hey Sadie, I thought you were-"

"Who? Tommy? Oh, no he's at his house. He wont be coming out for the rest of the night I would think. So what's up?"

"Wait…what? What's wrong with Tommy? You saw him, when?" Jude's face was starting to get hot. She didn't really like it too much that Sadie saw Tommy.

"Oh, nothing. I just…stunned him into silence is all." she smirked mischievously.

"Sadie, what did you do? Why did you even go and see Tommy?" her face was beat red now. she looked like she wanted to go and beat her sister's face in.

"Nothing…I…needed closure." she sighed. "Well, I'm beat. I'm going to go and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning Jude."

"Huh, yeah, night Sadie."

Jude felt like she was going to scream. After all the time they spent together today, Tommy was still going to pull the same stunt he did four years ago. But one thing changed. She was now 20 and she wasn't just going to sit back and let him do this. She had to let him now how she felt. And she was going to go do that.

Tommy was sitting on his couch watching TV. in his boxers and a tank top. He was truly surprised with what had gone on tonight and didn't really know what to say about the whole thing. But he knew Sadie was right. But how could he tell Jude.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Tommy looked at the clock on the wall. _11:45, who the hell could this be? _He got up and looked in the peep hole and a smile grew over his face. He opened the door and smiled at the obvious livid red head standing before him.

"Hey, Jude, uh, what's up?" he looked confused. Jude was so mad she didn't even say a word when she barged past him into his apartment.

"Ok, come on in." he laughed slightly.

"What…." she started, her voice getting angrier and angrier."What right do you think you have, spending the entire day with me, and then trying to go for my sister? God, you're really twisted, Tommy."

"Wait, back up, what are you **talking **about, Jude. I didn't try and get back with Sadie, she came here, she kissed me, and that's all."

"What? You **kissed **her. And now you're going to act like it's no big deal. You guys aren't together anymore, you do realize that right?" she crossed her arms.

"I realize that Jude, she hit on me, okay? So don't give me that kind of crap. I don't need it right now." he was getting mad now, what right did **she **have just waltzing into his apartment and throwing accusations everywhere.

"Oh, I get it. Kinda like **I **hit on you too, right? And let me guess, you told her to pretend like it never happened? God, this is like a broken record with you, Tommy. Always the same thing."

"Wait a minute there, you are going way beyond tonight. Jude! That was **four years ago. **Come on, girl. You know why we couldn't tell anyone." he said realizing now why she was so angry.

"No, don't give me that, Tommy. It wasn't like that, now was it? You just wanted her all along and still do!"

"Oh, god. You know I thought maybe you would grow up, but I guess it just shows immaturity got a lot more familiar to you, didn't it?" he said sarcastically.

Jude was beyond furious now. How dare he tell her she wasn't mature when he had absolutely no room to talk?

"Oh, give me a break Tommy. At least I was mature enough not to run from my mistakes. Because that was all that I was to you, a big mistake."

"Oh, good god. Will you get over yourself? Not everything is about you, Jude! Get that through your head. Grow up, okay?"

"Okay, you know what. I am so sick of this; I am done trying to get along with you, Quincy. You are too much for me." she goes to walk out and he grabs her arm angrily.

"Tommy, let me go. What are you doing?"

"Yeah, just like you to run away when things get rough. Why don't you just run back to New York, little girl."

"Tommy, stop it. I hate you! I hate you!" she started pounding his chest repeatedly with her fists. He just stood there knowing she had to get her anger out. And it was only right that it would be him, after all, he was the one that started it all.

"Jude, admit it, all you wanna do is run. All you will ever do is run. So you wont have to face your problems." she was still beating at him until she got tired and collapsed in his arms, with anger in her eyes. She hadn't noticed that hers and Tommy's faces were but 2 inches apart that he could feel her warm breath on his face. They hadn't been so close since the night of her birthday. He could sense that she tensed up in his arms suddenly.

"Jude, I can tell, you still want me. I can feel it." he looked deep into her eyes.

"God, Tommy. Now it's my turn to say 'get over yourself'. That's ridiculous." she broke away from his grip and went to open the door, but her hand only reached the door knob when he grabbed her arm and spun her around and was now looking into her eyes again.

"Tommy? What are yo-" she was interrupted by him crashing his mouth against hers. And she surprisingly kissed back. They had both wanted this for four years. She opened her mouth slightly as he slipped his tongue in and massaged hers gently. He moves his hands down to the small of her back and pulled her closer to him.

This went on for about 2 minutes or so until Jude suddenly pulled away from him. She then went to open the door and leave, but not before turning back and looking at him.

"Tommy, it didn't work out then, and it couldn't work out now. I'm sorry." and with that she closed the door behind her and leaned against it for a second before walking down the stairs and out of his life, again.

**I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a long time, I just have finals to study for this week and it's hard when you are actually trying to pass and do your FF at the same time. So hopefully I will be able to update soon. Oh and about the chapter, don't worry kids. I wouldn't end it like this . I'm too nice for that. R&R Love Ya **


	8. Why don't they fall back?

Tommy sat on his couch clearly with a face of shock. He had been sitting there for an hour now and he still didn't understand why she left. _She still wants me…doesn't she? She hasn't moved on…I felt her kiss. She wanted me. Then why did she run away?_

He sat there contemplating everything all night. He couldn't have gotten 2 hours of sleep, because everytime he closed his eyes, all he saw was her. And all he could feel was her lips on his. This killed him.

It seemed like it was the same with Jude. She went home and didn't say two words to her mom or Sadie; she just walked up to her room and closed the door behind her. She sighed loudly as she leaned back against her door. _What the hell is wrong with me? Tommy was kissing me. And what do I do? I push him away. God, I'm such an idiot. But I cant very well give everything up for him, I don't want to have to do that when I don't know if he is really serious about me or not. I cant do that to myself. _

She got tired of worrying about everything so she changed into her pajamas and went to bed. She didn't sleep at all though. She couldn't with all that happened that night.

The next day, Jude decided she would face Tommy and take up his offer of going to the studio; she hadn't worked on any songs though. So she brought her guitar with her.

She walked down the stairs to see Sadie and her mom sitting at the table in the kitchen. They must have been talking about her because as soon as she entered they stopped talking. She looked puzzled at the expression on their faces.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" she said touching her face.

"Huh? Oh, no, honey. We were just talking about the trip we've been planning for a while now. We decided that since you are here for a while, we should just cancel it." her mother said getting up and getting more coffee.

"What? No, you guys go ahead and go. I'm fine on my own. How long will you be gone?"

"Oh just for a few days, you sure you'll be okay, because we can stay if you want us to." she said with a worried face.

"Oh, no. Have fun. I'll be okay."

"Okay, well we leave tomorrow morning and I'll leave you some money so that you can get groceries and stuff."

"Mom, don't worry about that. I cab handle myself." Jude gloated with a smile.

Back at G Major Tommy was pacing in the studio. _Would she show up or wouldn't she? _That was the question constantly floating around in his mind and he couldn't stop thinking about it. Just then he heard voices outside the door. And in walked Kwest with Jude and her guitar.

"Hey Jude, what's up?" he said nervously.

"Nothing, Tommy. I decided I should try and see if I could even sing anymore." she laughed slightly.

"Oh, okay. So what do you got?" he said.

"Oh, not much. I just started out with a verse and a chorus. Tell me if it's okay." she said as she walked into the room she had got to know so well in the short while she had worked for G Major.

"Okay, go ahead. When you're ready." he said pressing a few buttons on the sound board.

She thought for a second and then strummed a melody on her guitar. That sent shivers down Tommy's spine already. He hadn't heard her play in forever.

She closed her eyes and started to sing.

_I try and try to get over you _

_I try and try to change _

_and everything always_

_just stays the same _

_so maybe you can help me _

_help me realize_

_just exactly what I'm looking forward to _

_when I look _

_into your eyes_

_CHORUS:_

_why do I fall so hard_

_and they don't fall back _

_tell me what it is _

_that I still lack _

_tell me why _

_why don't they _

_ever fall back _

When she finished she opened her eyes and a slight smile spread across her face when she saw the look on Tommy's. It was open mouthed shock.

"Jude, that was…" he trailed off.

"…really great." Kwest finished his sentence for him. "Good job. Looks like we got us a hit single."

"Oh, you think so." she said as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, girl. That was wonderful." Tommy finally said.

"Thanks." she smiled.

So she and Tommy spent the entire night working on the song way past what he was supposed to work, he just wanted it to be perfect. They had ordered pizza and were actually talking, civilly.

"So, Jude, I've been meaning to talk to you…you know…about last night."

"Tommy, how about we don't do this. Not now."

"But when, Jude? I'm sick of postponing everything because 'you don't feel like it'. I need to tell you how I feel." he turned to her and looked at her with his piercing blue eyes.

"Tommy, you don't get it, do you?" she said sighing. "Look, I don't want to fight about this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. I'm leaving soon, and everything will be back to normal for you, so why don't we just make use of the time we have, let's not complicate things."

Tommy sighed and decided he wouldn't push it any further. He knew he wouldn't win and maybe she was right about the whole leaving thing. She couldn't live here and be happy. She had a life. He needed to understand that. She couldn't just up and leave New York and live with him in Vancouver, could she?

He knew it was impossible for her and his life to ever work out together but he knew he would die trying. They spent the rest of the night not talking about the previous night. Just working on the song.

**Sorry guys about the whole not updating forever. And for that I will update two chapters today so I can get y'all caught up. Good news, only one more day of finals until Christmas Break. Whoo hoo! **


	9. Situations

**Hey heres that second part I promised. Please read and review. I really wanna know what you guys think of it so far. **

As Jude looked up at the clock on the wall in the studio she gasped when she noticed it was 12:30. They had been at this for four hours.

"Look at what time it is Tommy. I got to go. I need sleep." she said as she grabbed her jacket.

"Hey, don't think you are getting outta here without helping me pick up. Come on help me unplug these boards please?" He looked at her with his puppy dog blue eyes.

"Oh okay." after all how could she resist that?

Jude walked over and helped him unplug the board and clean up the pizza box and situate a few more things. He had also wanted to get some boxes down from the top shelf and he had asked Jude to grab them for him while he put the electric guitars away. He walked out and then walked back in and saw her struggling to grab one more box before her foot slipped.

_Oh no, this is going to hurt. _She thought as she tumbled but surprisingly she didn't hit the floor. She felt strong arms around her and she knew it was Tommy. She opened her eyes to find his was only inches from hers. _Oh it could be so eats right now for him to kiss me. Oh I hope he doesn't kiss me because I won't be able to resist kissing back. Get a hold of yourself Jude. _

She laughed slightly as he set her down on her feet. "Gotta stop getting myself into these situations."

"Yeah grabbing too many boxes at once…not very bright, girl." he said laughing nervously.

"Ha Ha." she mocked and smiled looking at the floor where everything had spilled out.

"God, look, more mess." she laughed bending down to pick it all up.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to get those boxes." he bent down also.

"No, it's fine. Sleep hasn't been a real asset to me lately, anyways." she smiled looking at him.

"Lately?" he inquired.

"Well…let's just say for the past four years." she rolled her eyes.

"Oh…why?"

"Oh, just too many things to worry about. But it's okay."

"I don't know Jude. You do seem tired a lot more." he was worried.

"Tommy? Can we not talk about this, okay? I'm fine. There's no need to worry about me." She picked up the rest of the stuff and grabbed her jacket and put it on.

"Look, I'll be back around 10 tomorrow and we can figure out what we want to do about the song alright? I'll see you later."

And with that she left leaving Tommy with a puzzled look on his face. He didn't know why she was being so distant. It was like they couldn't even be friends. Where did they go so wrong?

Jude walked into her house and her sister and mom were fast asleep. She walked up the stairs to her room and checked her voicemail on her cell phone. She didn't want her boss calling her when she was at the studio so she left it at home. Her friend Jill had called her around 11:45.

_Hey girl it's Jill. I know your visiting the 'rents and all but I was just wondering when the hell are ya coming home? We miss ya kiddo. Oh and boss man says hi. And he really wants to see you too. Call me back. I'll be up 'til about one and then I'm crashing so call me before then. Love ya girl. Bye_

Jude grabbed her phone and walked out onto the patio so she wouldn't disturb anyone. She dialed Jill's number and then waited for her to pick up.

(loud music in the background) Hello?

Hey, Jill, where are you?

Oh, just hanging at Billy's, what cha been up to?

Nothing, hanging out.

Oh, how did the encounter with the 'rents go?

It was surprisingly good. Everything is cool with them now.

Oh, well that's good. How about Tommy?

Well, that's a different story I'll tell you when I get home.

Ok. When are you coming back. We Miss Ya!

Oh, I don't know. It wont be long. Maybe a week. Maybe sooner than that.

Well gimme a call when you get back into town k?

Okay, how's Mitch? He isn't pissed I'm not back yet is he?

Nah, girl, you haven't had a vacation in…ever. He just misses ya.

Well I'll talk to you soon, okay?

Yeah, miss ya Jude. Bye

Bye

She hung up the phone and sighed. She looked up at the stars. She didn't get much of that in New York. It was mostly city fog. _How are you going to walk away from your family, again? How are you going to walk away from Tommy? _She sighed again and decided maybe she should get a few hours of sleep if she was going to have to confront Tommy tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the day she would tell him she was leaving, again.

**Well sorry it's so short but I thought you might need two, since I'm so mean and had to finish with finals. Sorry again. but R&R I love hearing opinions. **


	10. Don't Leave Me

Jude walked into G Major once again, but today was different. Today was the day she would say goodbye to everyone, once again, and go back to New York. _Just be calm, and tell them how you really feel._

She walked into the studio to see Kwest, Georgia, EJ, and Tommy all in a circle talking about something with the sound board. They all turned their heads when she walked in.

"Hey, what's up?" she said nervously feeling all their eyes on her like daggers about to plunge.

"Hey, Jude. We were just talking about your single." Georgia said smiling. _Why does she always have that look on her face? _Jude thought tentatively.

"Oh, yeah, uh, about that…" she trailed off not knowing what to say next. They were all still looking at her, only more intensely now. She wanted to scream _Stop freaking looking at me!_ But instead she finished what she was going to say. "…I don't think we should leak the single. It's not worth it." There it was. Those looks turned to defeat. Oh, no. There come the questions.

"What!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Jude, it's a great song, why are you even thinking that?"

She put her hands up as if she was stopping traffic and finally yelled "Stop!" There was silence and everybody looked at her like she had two heads.

"The thing is, it won't be worth it because… I'm not going to be here for very much longer. And it would be pointless to leak a single that I'm not going to be around to hear how it turns out, I'm sorry for wasting your guys' time. And I have got to go. I'll see you later." and she walked out leaving, yet again, open-mouthed faces of shock. _When did she become so good at that? _

_Sometimes the things you want the most, you know you can't have, so you have to run. _

Jude was sitting on her couch with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and the channel changer in the other. Since her mom and Sadie wouldn't be back for a couple more days, she had to chill there until they got back. She couldn't stand leaving them again.

Then there was a knock at the door. _Oh, it must be the pizza. _She thought as she got up and reached for her wallet.

"So, how much do I owe- Tommy? What are you doing here?" she said standing there looking at the obvious wreck of a man standing in front of her.

"I had to see you. Can- I come in?" he said with sweat pouring down his forehead.

"Sure, come on in." she stood back and allowed him to enter. He looked bad, like he hadn't slept in a couple days.

"Jude, you can't leave." he said rather bluntly.

"Excuse me?" she said with disbelief in her voice that he had even said that to her.

"I mean, Jude, that song…is…great…and, uh, I don't think you should just walk away from something as great as that." he sat down looking at his hands. "I just, uh, think that you shouldn't leave, not for a while at least. And Georgia, Kwest, and EJ feel the same way."

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Tommy, but I have a job that I have to get back to, and a life. I can't very well stay here for a long period of time."

"Why not? You haven't seen your family in four years. And they missed you. You need this time to reconnect with them and build that bond again. Take that chance, Jude. It's just a coffee shop in New York. It's not like you're happy."

"And what makes you think I'm not, huh? Maybe it is just some little coffee shop but you know what? It's my home, and I will be damned if I leave my home for no good reason. Especially this reason."

"Oh, so your music is not important enough to you anymore, Jude?" he said with anger rising in his eyes. _I'm not important enough to you? _

"No, that's not what I meant and you know it, Tommy. You and I both know the real reason you came here today wasn't to talk about my music. The reason you came here was to talk about us and Tommy, I hate to break it to you, but there is no 'Us'. Get over it already." _Why was I being so cold to him? Oh, god, those eyes. How can I be mean to someone with those eyes? _

"Jude, you blew it way out of proportion. Ok, I'm going to be honest with you." He took a deep breath before he stood up and met his eyes with hers. Baby Blue meets Grey-Blue. He then took her hand in his and looked down playing with her fingers. "I don't want you to leave, not just because of the song, but because…..because of me, Jude."

"Tommy, how long are we going to do this? You know that it wouldn't work out. We both have two separate lives now. You live here, and I live in New York. As much as I want it to work, it just won't. I'm sorry." she let go of his hand and walked into the kitchen.

"And why won't you even try? Jude, I think we can make it work, you're just scared."

"Tommy, I am scared, I am scared of putting my heart out there again and getting it stomped on, you of all people should know how truly scared I am, and that's why I cant do this. I am leaving in a few days, and that's it. I'm sorry." She looked at him for the first time since she had been in town, with truth behind her eyes. She loved him with all her heart, but she couldn't do that, not again.

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**I noticed that no one reviewed my last chapters. tear I'm sorry if this story sucks and if it does, maybe I shouldn't continue it. If you like it, please tell me, and if you don't well you can tell me that too. But please read and review. **


	11. Lie To Me

"Jude, you need to stop running away when things get rough, what's going to happen when your marriage gets rough, are you going to run then too?" he said with sadness in his eyes.

"No, you see, Tommy, my marriage wont be rocky because he wont break my heart as much as you have." she didn't meant for it to sound as cold as it did, but what could she do.

"Jude, come on, that was the past. I am standing here telling you that will never do that again, just please, don't leave." he sat there looking like tears were forming in his deep blue eyes.

_help me realize_

_just exactly what I'm looking forward to _

_when I look _

_into your eyes_

This was enough, Jude got up and walked out of the kitchen and almost out of the front door when Tommy went and grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?" he said eagerly.

"Away, from you. I cant handle this right now Tommy. I just can't." She was fighting back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Jude, you can. You have to. Look, I know how much I hurt you. And I know how terrible it was for both of us to be away from each other the past four years. But we still have to try and make things work. For us, girl." she looked at him and then looked away again. Eye contact with him was practically killing her right now.

"Tommy, I just- can't do this right now. I'm sorry." he grabbed her arm a little tighter.

"No, I wont have you walk out the door without telling me how you really feel. I'm sick of you telling me 'not now'. It has to be **right now. **Tell me, Jude. Tell me you don't love me. Lie to me." he pulled her close to him so that his eyes were mere inches from hers.

_why do I fall so hard_

_and they don't fall back _

_tell me what it is _

_that I still lack_

"I-I….uh…" she trailed off again remembering back when she was sure what she wanted to do.

**

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**

**Flashback**

_She went to make herself a sandwich in the kitchen when she stumbled across a letter on the counter addressed to Sadie from Tommy. She couldn't help but open it. It read…_

_Dear Sadie,_

_I know things haven't been the greatest lately, but I promise, they will get better. Just remember, I'm here for you, always. I am really excited about our trip to Europe. I am so glad you invited me. I really need to get out, I need time to, think about things. And I need to get away from some things. Well, I will talk to you later. And I am looking forward so seeing you tonight. Until then…_

_Love,_

_Tommy_

_"Oh, well isn't that just fantastic. He means he needs to get away from me. That bastard. Well, if he wants to get away from me, then I will get away too. Screw him, wait, that will be Sadie's job." she scoffed and ran upstairs to gather her things_.

**End Flashback

* * *

**

Her face became stiff and she remembered why she left again. It wasn't because of Sadie or Tommy. It was the fact that she could lose him at any second to **anyone. **This made her wonder why should she even try if he just up and got with her sister behind her back, would he do the same in life? She couldn't tell him how she really felt.

"Jude? Say it. Say you don't love me! You cant say it, can you?" he was shaking her now.

"Tommy! I- I don't love you!" she sighed. _God, I love you, Tommy! I missed you so much._ He stopped shaking her and just looked blankly at her. He didn't really think she would say that.

"Well…I uh…" he couldn't speak. He felt the same as he did when he saw her for the first time in four years. Speechless. He walked out the door and didn't look back. She followed him.

"Tommy, where are you going?" he didn't even turn around to speak to her.

"Thanks for lying to me." and with that he was gone.

Jude collapsed on the front porch crying. _How could I let the one person in the whole world that I loved and cared for the most, think I didn't love them? What kind of monster am I? _She didn't know what to do or even if there was anything left to do. She was alone, once again.

_But sometimes when you get tired of running, and try to go home, there's nobody there. So you're left alone.

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_

**Thanks you guys for all your reviews. That was awesome. You showed me you do really like the story and that I should continue it. If you have any suggestions, I'm open to comments of all kinds. Please read and review. Happy Holidays!**


	12. Counting The Hours

**Well thanks you guys so much for your reviews. It really does mean a lot to me. I am leaving to go back to my home town in a few days and I wont have access to a computer so this will be the last update until then (wincing waiting for the tomatoes) I know I'm sorry, but I promise when I get back a big Juicy 2 chapter update. Love ya guys. **

* * *

Jude woke up the next morning with the smell of coffee hanging in her nose. Her mom and Sadie must be home. She got up and went into the bathroom.

She looked into the mirror and noticed the bags underneath her eyes. It's not like bags haven't been there before, just not this bad. And her eyes were sore from crying so much. All she wanted to do was cry and crawl in bed all day. But she had planned this lunch with Jamie before she knew she and Tommy would get into it and she couldn't get a rain check because he was going back to New York tomorrow with Kat.

"Just gotta face the music." she sighed as she got in the shower and got ready to go.

Tommy had been awake all night. He was drinking coffee by the gallons and didn't care either. _Did she really mean what she said? Was she lying? I don't get it, I thought she loved me. Where did it go all wrong? _

All these thoughts were haunting him like the Ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. He didn't understand why she was doing this.

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out, and get away from his thoughts. He couldn't go to G Major, all memories of her were there. He got into his car and found himself at a tiny coffee shop in town. He got more of the only thing keeping him going and sat in the very back right corner, in the dark, and started to listen to the music playing.

Jude walked down the stairs to see her mom and Sadie once again, sitting in the kitchen talking about some shop they went into.

"Hey guys, how was your trip?" she said getting a cup of coffee.

" Oh hi Jude, it was great. How was your vacation?" Sadie asked, like always, with a smile on her face.

"It was alright, but I think I'm gonna leave tomorrow." she said sitting down next to her mother.

"Oh, honey well we really were so happy to see you again. You worried us sick when you left." her mother said hugging Jude.

"Yeah, I know and I wont let that happen again. Christmas, okay?" she smiled weakly.

"Of course, you are welcome her anytime."

"Yeah and you better come back or I'm comin down there to get you." Sadie said sticking her tongue out at her younger sister.

"Yeah, of course." Jude said smiling again and then looking out the window.

"Jude, honey, is everything alright. You don't look so good." her mother said feeling her forehead.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine mom I just am tired is all. I think I'm going to take a nap after I go have lunch with Jamie." doorbell rings "Oh that's him. Well I'll see you guys later then." she gave her mom and Sadie a hug goodbye before grabbing her coat and walking out the door.

She walked with Jamie out to the car when he stopped and looked her over. "God, Jude, you look like the living dead. What happened?" she shoved Jamie playfully and looked at her feet.

"Long story."

Tommy was sitting in the coffee shop so long he didn't realize that Kwest walked in the door.

"Hey man what are you doing here?" Kwest said walking up and sitting across from him at the dark table.

"Huh? Oh nothing, just relaxin." he said as Kwest looked at the numerous coffee cups he had consumed.

"Relaxing, huh? Sure you're not overdosing?" he went and took all the empty cups back up to the counter.

"Nah man, I'm just a little upset is all." he said looking at his still half full coffee cup.

"Oh, I see. You got the Jude sickness again, huh?" he laughed.

"What? What are you talking about?" he looked confused.

"I'm talking about everytime you get that look on your face. It looks like somebody just ran over your dog. You've had that look for the past four years. So Georgia, EJ, and I named it the Jude sickness. 'Cause we all know why you always had that look on your face. What happened man?"

"She lied to me, to my face!" he said as he looked out the window to the cars passing by.

"What did she lie about? She said she wasn't here forever. All good things gotta come to an end man."

"No, Kwest, it wasn't that. I asked her to tell me she didn't love me and she did. She said 'I don't love you'. She lied."

"How do you know she lied?"

"Because, man. I kissed her and she kissed me back. You don't do that to someone you don't love."

"Maybe she was doing it for the greater good. Maybe it will be better for you both in the long run."

"How, Kwest? How can it be better for us in the long run when I know deep down we are supposed to be together. I mean yeah, I messed up before, but I don't want to do that again."

"Wow, man. You really do care about her."

"Isn't it obvious by now?" he laughed and looked at him.

"So you gonna go say goodbye at the airport tomorrow?"

"Nah, I mean, she wouldn't want me there."

"What! Are you crazy? Did you not just hear anything coming out of your mouth? You love her man, you have to be there."

"I don't know, man." he looked at Kwest and he just shook his head.

"It's a shame, you know that Quincy?"

"What?"

"The fact that you can't grow the balls enough to fight for the one you love."

Tommy just sat there taking everything Kwest had said in. Was he really giving up too soon? Was there still hope for him to get her back?

"You did what!" Jamie said as he almost choked on his double cheeseburger at the diner.

"I kinda told him I didn't love him…why are you so mad Jamie. You of all people hated the thought of me and Tommy together." she sipped on her coke.

"Okay, Jude. I know that of all people I don't understand why you would chose Tom Quincy, in fact I would rather you have chosen the 3 foot tall midget in the Ringling Bros. Circus over him, but that was back then, and this is now. He cares for you so much Jude. I saw the pain in his eyes when you left. Why do you think he broke up with Sadie?"

"Why did he have to get with her in the first place? If he was so in love with me, why did he do that behind my back? Explain _that _to me." she crossed her arms.

"Jude, back then is different from now. He couldn't very well date you. Unless he fancied spending the rest of his pathetic little life behind bars. It wasn't just that, your parents didn't approve of him and you and you know it."

"Okay, maybe you're right…but still! Jamie! My sister? It was like he was trying to keep it in the family." she grimaced at this comment thinking of him and Sadie together.

"Jude, no offense to your sister or anything, but don't you think that the reason he dated your sister was because at the time you were too young to be dating him, and maybe he wanted the next best thing?"

"I don't know, Jamie. All I know is I'm leaving tomorrow and it's back to coffees and Wednesday night Open Mic."

"It could be better, you know that Jude? You don't have to go back and deal with all that."

"Jamie, I can't stay here. I have a life now, and I'm going to live it, without Little Tommy Q."

"Okay and we'll just see how happy you are. Face it, Jude. You love him and you know it."

She sat there amazed at how right Jamie was. It wasn't that New York wasn't awesome. She just was always so…alone. She didn't like feeling that way.

The next thing she knew her mother was driving her to the airport and Sadie was sitting in the back next to her talking to her latest flavor of the week on the phone about their date later on that night. The time had gone by so fast yet it felt like an eternity.

They had all parked the car and were going to say goodbye. The gang was all there. Georgia, EJ, Kwest, her mom, dad, and sister. Jamie and Kat said their goodbyes earlier since they took off that morning. Tommy was no where to be found.

"He's just scared is all, he'll be here." Kwest said pulling the red head into a big hug.

"Yeah, take care of him for me, will ya Kwest?"

"Sure thing, red. Don't worry, and you come back and visit us."

"I will."

"So, I guess I'll see ya around?" Jude said to Georgia who reached in and gave her a hug.

"Yeah you bet. Don't forget about us." and with that she hugged EJ also.

"I wont. I couldn't."

She walked over to her sister who was crying a little.

"Aw big sis, don't cry. I'll be back. And then we can go shopping." she smiled at her sister who smiled back and gave her a huge hug.

"Honey we are going to miss you so much. Please call as soon as you get there and keep in touch, okay? We love you." her mother and father pulled her into a bug hug and kissed her forehead.

"I will, and keep my room open for me, for everytime I come back."

They nodded as she walked away and blew a kiss to all of them. She hoped Tommy would have been there, but after everything that happened she couldn't expect him to want to be there.

Just then she heard a familiar voice yell 'Wait!' as she saw a man running towards her.

"Tommy, I didn't think you were coming."

"Yeah, well, you know me; always gotta be fashionably late." he smiled and handed her a white rose.

"Thank you." she pulled in and gave him a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you, girl." he whispered in her ear.

"I'm gonna miss you too." she smiled. "Oh and Tommy?" she said still hugging him.

"Yeah?"

"35,040" she whispered.

"What?" he said confused still hugging her.

"That's how many hours I thought of you. And that's how many hours I will continue to think of you plus a million more. I love you with all my heart and soul, Tom Quincy."

And with that she handed her ticket to the flight attendant and turned back and smiled and him, blew a kiss, and then left.

_Sometimes the things you want to deny most in life, are the things you know, deep down, you're the most sure about. _

**

* * *

There ya go, I know its long but It will make up for the time I will miss. Happy Holidays and a Very Merry Christmas to you all! Love Ya**


	13. I Need You

**Well I hope you guys had a great holiday and got everything you wanted! I know I did. Here that next chapter and there will be one more to follow and then I think this story will too be finished. Here ya go…oh and please read and review. Sorry it took so long. computer was a little out of commission there for a while. **

"Hey Tom, open up man!" Kwest said pounding on the door like he was the police or something.

"Uhhhhh." Kwest heard a thump and some beer cans roll around and then heard the many locks unlocking. There stood a non-shaven, obviously drunk, and sort of smelly Tommy.

"Dude, you look like a train hit you, man. Was it that bad?"

"Oh, Kwest, what's up man?" he said stumbling over and falling on the ground. Kwest entered the smelly apartment and picked his friend up and helped him to the couch.

"You look horrible. What the hell happened to you?" he said cleaning up his apartment.

"Oh, I'm just fine….I don't know…..what….your…tttallkking about." he mumbled laughing.

Kwest finished cleaning up the rest of the beer cans and other trash and opened some windows. It smelled like alcohol in there.

"Tommy, Georgia has been asking about you for the past few days, where the hell have you been?" he sat down next to his friend.

"Here, there, everywhere." he said in a singsong tone. Then cracking up and taking another drink of the vodka bottle sitting right in front of him. Kwest then pulled it away before Tommy could get another swig.

"Tommy, this stuff does not solve your problems. Didn't you learn from the last time? We had you come here and throw you in the shower every day for two weeks just to get you to come to work. I don't want to have to do that again. You need to tell Jude to tell you the truth." he looked at Tommy who was now solemn and listening to every word he said.

"She did…."

"And what did she say?"

"35,040"

"What? I think you need to sober up before you start speaking all cryptic."

"No, Kwest. She said 35,040 was the number of hours she thought of me since she was gone. And then she resumed telling me she would think of me a million more, and then she said she loved me." he said laying down on the couch as if speaking took the energy out of him.

"Huh, and tell me Tommy Q, why the hell did you let her get on that plane! Are you absolutely crazy or just plain stupid?" Kwest said crossing his arms.

"I don't know, man. When she blew me that kiss and walked away all I wanted to do was go and grab her in my arms and kiss her, but something stopped me. I don't even know what that something was." he said with sadness consuming his icy blue eyes.

"Well I know what that something was, fear. The fear of getting close to her again and then having something or someone mess it up. Dude, you should have gone after her."

"Don't you think I know that? It has been killing me not seeing her and then she comes back and I have the perfect chance to tell her how I feel, and what do I do? Screw it up, AGAIN! Good job Quincy, stupid Jackass!" he stood up and threw the bottle against the wall watching it shatter to pieces.

"Tom, you cant do this to yourself. You know what you have to do. You need to get on a plane and go and get her. You can call Jamie; he knows where she lives and works. He will help you. You have to do this, man. For you and for her."

"But, Kwest, my job is already in enough jeopardy, I cant leave now."

"Dude, that is the last thing you should be worried about now. Just go. I will take care of your job for you. Georgia wont even blink an eye when she finds out. She wants you to be happy. Just ummm make sure you show and clean yourself up first. Man, when you don't shave, you kinda got the uni-bomber look goin."

And with that Tommy was on the next flight out to New York to hopefully win back the girl he had been waiting four long years for, the question is, how will it turn out?


	14. Sideways

**Well this is it…once again we are coming to the end of a great story (at least I hope it was great for you). anyways I loved all your reviews and hopefully another one will be up soon….as always love ya guys and Read and Review….**

_Flight 131 non-stop to New York is now boarding, passengers with seats in coach need to check bags and board the plane…_

"Well, this is it. I just hope she takes me back." Tommy said as he grabbed his bag and turned to face the tunnel.

"Dude, she will take you back, she said she loves you, right?" Kwest said walking with him.

"Yeah, but I just-"

"You nothing man, she loves you, you love her, you got nothing to worry about. Now go and get her and come back with a smile on your face." he laughed.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." and with that he grabbed his carry on bag and was on his way to find Jude.

"Harrison, orders up!" The red head turned around and rolled her eyes. She was so exhausted. She had to work double shifts ever since she got back to make her rent.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I got it Mitch." she said as she walked over and picked the plate up and took it over to a table of frat boys.

"Hey girly," one of them said in a 'pick up line" sort of voice and scooted towards her and grabbed her arm.

"You wanna let go of my arm, frat boy?" she said getting angry now.

"You wanna go out later?" he said still holding on to her arm.

"How about this, you let go of my arm _right now_, or you will start eating your food from a straw from now on." she smiled and pulled away from him.

"Well someone's a bitch." he said as his friends let out a laugh.

She heard what they said and flinched for a minute but then kept walking. After all, it wasn't the first time she had been insulted like this.

"God, I need to get some rest." she said to another female waitress sitting at the bar.

"Yeah you look like hell." she said lighting a cigarette and offering one to Jude, which she declined.

"Yeah well my rent is due and I have to pay that or else I'm out on the street."

"Well you might wanna get that done then, huh?"

"Yeah." she said going and taking an order from a couple who had just sat down in her section.

"Oh my god, you're….Jude Harrison. Canadian Rock Star! We loved your album, can we get an autograph?" the girl said holding out a napkin and a pen.

"Sure." she said signing the napkin and handing it back.

"So…why did you quit anyway? I mean you were great." the girl said with light in her eyes.

"I just….got tired of it is all. I needed a break."

"Well do you still sing?"

"Uh yeah sometimes."

"Well you should sing now. I mean it's Wednesday, karaoke night. C'mon sing. Sing." her and her boyfriend nodded.

"Oh, I don't know." she said shyly.

"Oh come on, please, for a couple of die hard fans you would, right?"

"Well okay, just let me go get my guitar and tell Mitch to cover my tables, one song and that's it."

"Surprise us."

Jude sat down on the stool at the front with her guitar in hand. She took a deep breath and strummed the strings.

_You never lied to me not once  
Its not your fault that I cant trust  
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there  
Making a mess out of this game  
To see it all go up in flames  
So tired of being ruthless and wreckless_

_Time to be your only one  
To almost be you're way too young  
Time to crash into the sun  
Time to be your 21  
Time to dream that love will last  
Time to drive my car too fast  
Time to walk before I run_

_Time to be  
Ohh time to be your 21_

She finished her song and took a deep breath as she heard the entire coffee shop fill with applause. She remembered what that felt like and how it made her feel.

She then took her guitar and placed it behind the bar and resumed to get another table in her section.

"Hello Sir, what can I get you?" she said not even bothering to look up as she grabbed her pen and pad from her pocket.

"That song sounds as good as the first time I ever heard it, Jude." that voice sent chills down her spine as she was afraid to look up and have it be someone else then who she was expecting.

"Tommy, what-"

"I know what you're thinking, I shouldn't have come, but Jude, the truth is, I cant live without seeing you, hearing your voice. And just a few minutes ago, when you sang. It was like I was falling for you all over again." he said standing up now.

"Oh, uh, woah….a little intense there." she said backing away, trying to process all of it.

"I know…for me too. I just…had to say it." his eyes darted back and forth as if he was trying to read her somehow.

"Tommy…..you cant just walk in here like this. I have a job to do, rent to pay, you cant do this…not now."

"When? Jude, when will it be a good time for you to talk, when? because for me it's been four years, four long years I've waited to have this conversation with you and now, I can, I can finally say all that I need to say and no job, money, parents, excuses, boyfriends, or big sisters are going to get in the way of it. I….I-"

"You what, Tommy?" she looked at him confusingly.

"I-I L-love you, Jude."

She couldn't process all that was being said to her.

"Tommy, you know the last time we-"

"Jude, stop. I know the last time we were together and it hurt when I had to walk away, but I thought you knew why I had to. I did it for you, Jude."

"You did it for me? How in the hell was that supposed to benefit me? You basically told me the only kiss that would ever matter to me in my life, was a lie? Now come on Mr. "explanation for everything", tell me how _that _was supposed to benefit me?" She was getting angrier now that she thought about it.

"Jude, you and I both know that if we had told people about the kiss, and about wanting to be together, they would have torn us apart. I wasn't worried about me, I could handle myself, I was looking out for you, I couldn't bear it if you got hurt-"

"Oh, more than you hurt me, your safe there, Quincy, because _nobody, _can hurt me more than you did." she said walking away.

"Jude, what happened, in the airport-"

"Tommy," she said turning around to face him, "in the airport I told you I loved you, and I still do, but we cant be together if you are going to let all these things get in the way, I thought about it and now, I don't think it will work. I'm sorry you came all the way out here. Just go home." and with that he thought he lost her.

"Jude, you cant be saying this. Why are you acting this way?" he looked confused.

"Tommy, I have to go back to work. If you're not here to eat, I suggest you leave, if not, I will be done at 11:00, if you're still here when I get off, then maybe we can talk." she walked away and went back to work.

Tommy waited until 11:00 when she was closing up and cleaning. He was the only one left in the entire shop, even Mitch had taken off. It was just him and Jude, she was the closer, so that meant she had to mop the entire place before she could go home.

She turned on the stereo and soon enough the sounds of Citizen Cope flowed throughout the entire shop as she started to grab a mop.

She occasionally was looking over at Tommy, who was watching her as well. He wasn't going to leave until he sat down and told her how he really felt. She closed her eyes and hummed to the music.

_You know it ain't easy  
For these thoughts here to leave me  
There's no words to describe it  
In French or in English  
Well, diamonds they fade  
And flowers they bloom  
And I'm telling you_

_These feelings won't go away  
They've been knockin' me sideways  
They've been knockin' me out lately  
Whenever you come around me  
These feelings won't go away  
They've been knockin' me sideways  
I keep thinking in a moment that  
Time will take them away  
But these feelings won't go away_

The next thing she knew she felt breathing on her neck as she turned around and Tommy was standing right behind her. His eyes were filled with sadness as he touched her face. That caused her to let the mop drop to the ground.

"Tommy I-"

"Shh…" he said as he placed his lips on hers. They deepened the kiss and soon enough she was lost in a whirlwind of his cologne and the smell of coffee and sugar. She knew it wouldn't last for long, though. She then pulled away and touched her lips.

The next thing she knew she was pushing him out of the door.

"Tommy, we cant do this. You have to go. Please. Just leave."

"Jude, wait-" he put his hand on the door.

"No, Tommy, no."

"I am at the hotel around the corner if you change your mind. Room 122."

And then he was gone. Out into the night and all that was left was the song and sound of Jude crumbling to the ground crying. She brought her knees to her chest and just cried.

As soon as Tommy got back to the hotel, he plopped down onto the bed. He thought he lost her for good.

Jude finished up at the coffee shop and went on home. She got inside and there went to go change into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. She started fumbling through a box of things to look for her lyric book but instead she found a picture of her and Tommy together, right after they had started working together. Things seemed so simple and carefree back then. The next thing she knew tears were stinging her green eyes.

What the hell was she thinking? She just let him walk away. The one person in her life that she loved, she let walk right out the door. Her tears started to flow more and more freely now.

Soon enough she was changing back into her clothes and walking out the door with her keys in her hand.

Tommy was unenthusiastically flipping through the channels in his hotel room. Nothing seemed to interest him and he couldn't sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes he thought of her.

_Flashback_

_Jude is standing out in the rain trying to process all that had happened just a few minutes before. She looked up at the sky as if the rain would somehow give her answers. _

_Tommy walks out and looks at her. He unbuttons his jacket and walks down the steps towards her and puts the jacket around her shoulders._

_"Go ahead, tell me 'I told you so'." she said looking down. _

_"Jude, for what it's worth, Shay's a kid, and an idiot, and he made the wrong choice."_

_"That's not worth much coming from you."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back, it hurts."_

_"Jude I-"_

_"You all say the nicest things, 'You're so great, you're so nice,' but none of you want to date me. So you want to help me, Tommy? Tell me what I do wrong, tell me why I'm so easy to give up and then maybe I can fix it."_

_"Jude! You are asking the wrong guy."_

_He pulled her close and met his lips with hers. They were finally lost in each other's embrace. There was no turning back now. That kiss definitely happened. _

_They both pulled away not knowing what to say next. Just then two people walked outside and they were back to reality. _

_"You should go, Jude."_

_"Tommy don't-"_

_"I'll see you inside, okay." _

_And with that Jude walked back inside leaving a very confused Tommy._

_End Flashback_

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Tommy thought it was the room service he had ordered.

"Doors open." he yelled not budging from the couch.

In walked the person he expected least. There she stood with her eyes glued on his. Just when he was about to speak, she started to talk.

"Okay, let's get a couple things straight, Quincy." she said in a demanding voice.

"Okay…" he said reluctantly.

"First of all, if you think I will let you break my heart again, you're dead wrong. Second, no more trying to get with my sister, or I will kill you."

His face suddenly turned white. He knew now she hadn't come for the reason he thought she had.

"And- and third thing," she hesitated, "There wasn't a moment when I was gone, that my heart wasn't with you, Tommy. I was just too scared to admit it. To everyone, and to myself, but I knew it was true. I have always had you with me, Tommy."

Soon enough that frown on his face turned into a smile. He then got up and walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and looked deeply into her eyes.

She then put her hand to his lips right before he went to kiss her. "You do realize I will be telling my parents and everyone I know we are together right?"

"Yes."

"Good, just so we're clear on that. Now kiss me, Quincy."

And with that he pulled her in for the most passionate kiss they shared since the night in the alley. Only this time, there would be more kissing, and no more forgetting.

**Well sorry it took me so long, but you see how long it is. I almost made it a two part, but I figured I should make up for all the time I took writing it. Well hope y'all like it. and as always, Read and Review. **


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